miércoles, 18 de febrero de 2015

Lesson 38. Say SORRY even you don't know why

8.17 p.m. Ready for dinner (it's late for Britains, I know, but we're still Spanish).The bell rings. There is a police car in front of my door, flashing its lights. I start to get nervous.
 -Good evening, we would like to speak to Mrs. Barcos
-That's me. What happens?
-Did you drive along Broad Street this afternoon?
-Y-e-s-s-s-s.... I did. I parked my car for one hour in that street and I came back home.
-There is a man that assures your car hit slightly to his car when you left the parking. And you just left.
At that point of the conversation, my legs and my voice was just shaking like a leaf.
-WHAT???? Sorry, Sir.I didn't notice any hit. I remember that man. He stared at me. He didn't say anything. He didn't do any gesture. In fact I wondered why he was looking at me. Of course if I had realised that I hit his car, I would have stopped to see the possible damages and to solve any issue calling to my insurance company.
-No worries. His car hasn't any damage. He is not calling to the insurance company. He is not claiming anything. But he asked my collegue this afternoon to come your home.
 -!!!!!?????!!!!!?????
-Mrs. Barcos, next time, just in case you hit accidentally to another car, please don't go.
(my neibourgh Derek was listening all behind the fence, I felt it in my bones).
-Goodness knows that I didn't run away, I said visibly overset. I was so nervous that I thought that I was coming across as I actually was guilty. And that was really frustrating!
-It is closed for us, Madam. Thank you. Good evening.
My husband said:
-Sorry, Sir, may I ask you a question?.... Is it possible that anybody disturb the police for so fussy concern??
He just shrugged his shoulders and said again
- Good evening family!
-Thank you Sir. I'm really sorry.
So at the end the policeman came home just to show me the yellow card. And that was really exasperating. Even more than the other car's owner action. After a few days mulling over the issue I've concluded that I have to use more the magic words: Sorry, Please and Thank you.
We have a good Venezuelan friend that tell us how he usually go on a conversation with English. After the well-known greetings, hello how are you....is everything ok....etc, etc, he says sorry each two or three sentences. No matter if it is appropriate or not. He just says it.
Another charming and English friend agree with me that Bristish people are hypersensitive with the magic words. You can be caught out whatever it is, but if you say sorry and smile, everything will be OK. The same friend when I told him the anecdote apologised about the police and the other man behavior. "Stupid man, stupid policeman..... what are you doing, mate? oh, nothing I'm just going to a lady´s house to tell her off. Don't be a naughty girl. Don't do it again." He's a gentleman, it was a bit embarrasing for me. He didn't have to say sorry in the name of anybody but, he is English and they have been growed up in that way. Thank you Sven. There is still a great deal to be learned by me.
They speak to children using the magic words always. Please, Mike, could you put your coat on? Thank you....Could you please put your toys away? thank you, Mike.....Sorry, Mike, what do you have to say?? Thank you Mummy. Well done, Mike. Thank you. Every single request or order they make will be along with the corresponding magic word.
I learned the lesson (after six months). I'm SORRY. I APOLOGISE. Many thanks.
8.17 de la tarde. Listos para la cena (es tarde para los británicos, lo sé, pero aún somos españoles). Suena el timbre. Hay un coche de policía en la puerta de casa, con las luces puestas. Empiezo a estar nerviosa.
-Buenas noches, me gustaría hablar con la Sra. Barcos.
-Soy yo. ¿Qué pasa?
-¿Ha circulado usted esta tarde por la calle Broad?
-S-í-í-í....lo hice. Aparqué mi coche durante una hora en esa calle y me fuí a casa
-Hay un hombre que asegura que su coche rozó ligeramente al suyo cuando salía del aparcamiento. Y usted se marchó sin más.
En este punto de la conversación mis piernas y mi voz estaban temblando como una hoja.
-¿QUÉ? Perdone señor, no he notado ningún golpe. Recuerdo a ese hombre. Me miraba fijamente. No me dijo nada. No me hizo ningún gesto. De hecho me preguntaba por qué me estaba mirando. Por supuesto si me hubiera dado cuenta que le había dado, me habría parado para ver los posibles daños y resolver cualquier cosa llamando a la compañia de seguros.
-No se preocupe. Su coche no tiene ningún daño. Él no va a llamar a la compañia de seguros. No reclama nada. Pero le pidío a mi compañero esta tarde que viniera a su casa.
-!!!!!??????!!!!!!?????
-Sra. Barcos, la próxima vez, si golpea accidentalmente a otro coche, por favor no se marche.
(mi vecino Derek estaba escuchando tras la valla, lo presentía)
-Dios sabe que no salí corriendo, dije visiblemente alterada. Estaba tan nerviosa que daba la impresión que era culpable en realidad. Y esto sí que era frustrante!!
-Señora, por nuestra parte asunto cerrado. Gracias. Buenas noches.
Mi marido dijo:
-Perdone señor, ¿puedo hacerle una pregunta?... ¿es posible que alguien moleste a la policía por un asunto tan nimio?
Él se encogió de hombros y dijo de nuevo
-Buenas noches, familia
-Gracias, señor. Lo siento de veras.
De modo que la policía vino a mi casa sólo para enseñarme la tarjeta amarilla. Y esto fue realmente exasperante. Incluso más que la actuación del propietario del otro coche. Después de unos días dándole vueltas al asunto he llegado a la conclusión de que tengo que utilizar más las palabras mágicas: Lo siento, por favor y gracias.
Tenemos un buen amigo venezolano que nos cuenta cómo suele conversar con los ingleses. Después de los consabidos saludos, hola cómo estás,....todo bien....?, etc, etc, él dice lo siento cada dos o tres frases. No importa si viene o no acuento. Él lo dice y ya está.
Otro amigo inglés, encantador, está de acuerdo comingo que los británicos son hipersensibles con las palabras mágicas. Puedes meter la pata en lo que sea, pero si dices lo siento y sonríes, no pasará nada. Este mismo amigo cuando le conté la anécdota se disculpó por el comportamiento del policía y del otro hombre. " Estúpido el hombre. Estúpido el policía.... ¿qué vas a hacer tío? nada, voy a casa de una señora a regañarla. No seas una niña mala. No lo hagas más." Es un caballero. Fue un poco embarazoso para mí. Él no tenía que pedir disculpas en nombre de nadie, pero es inglés y se ha educado así. Gracias Sven. Me queda aún mucho que aprender.
Siempre hablan a los niños usando las palabras mágicas. Por favor, Mike, ¿puedes ponerte el abrigo? Gracias.....¿podrías ordenar los juguetes, por favor?, gracias, Mike......Perdona Mike, ¿qué tienes que decir ahora? Gracias mami. Bien hecho, Mike. Gracias. Cada una de las peticiones que se les hagan irán acompañadas de su correspondiente palabara mágica.
He aprendido la lección (después de seis meses). LO SIENTO. PIDO DISCULPAS. Muchas gracias.

1 comentario:

  1. I've always said the the reason Spanish come across as aggressive or arrogant, its all due to the way Spanish language is spoken, because you don't say please, sorry nor thank you. The Portuguese do it A LOT, just like the English. Let me show you the difference with an example at a coffee place:
    Camarero - Hola, qué te pongo?
    Tu - Un café con leche
    Camarero - Aqui tienes
    Tu - Vale, gracias. Me dás una cuchara?
    Portuguese style:
    Camarero- Bom dia, posso ajudá-la? O que vai desejar?
    Yo - Bom dia, obrigada. Quero um café com leite, se faz favor. Muito obrigada.
    Camarero - Com certeza, aqui tem, faz favor.
    Yo - Obrigada! Tem uma colherzinha (chucharita) se faz favor?

    And there you go, 3 thank yous and 3 pleases :) Spanish: 1 thank you.
    I think its super interesting that you had the capability to learn about your language by learning another one :)
    And before I finish, let me say that I can't believe the police went to your place to tell you off, it must be a really safe city to have his time spent on something so ridiculous.
    Oh, and dear, your English is better every single day, I don't actually have anything to correct for months now. If you speak as good as you write, all you gotta do is loose the accent :D and you can be a dark brunet english in no time! Besos
    Sofi

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